You know how there are those people who focus everything on their careers? People who spend all of their time at work, and never take vacations, and don’t spend enough time with their friends or family, and think about work when they’re at home? I feel like I was meant to be one of those people.
This is frequently thought of as a bad thing, or at least an unhealthy thing. These people end up neglecting their spouses and their kids, they lose their friends, they never really relax, then they feel guilty about it because they feel like they should make time for other aspects of their lives, but they can’t.
I think a lot of times people become obsessed with their jobs because of money. They work themselves to death because they feel compelled to make more money, buy more stuff. In this case, it makes sense to feel bad about neglecting everything else in their lives. Making the pursuit of wealth your top priority is a problem.
There is another reason why people become consumed by their work though, because their work is important. If your job gives you the opportunity to truly have an impact on the world, why shouldn’t you make it the central part of your life? I get that this could still be upsetting for the people around you, but it doesn’t seem fair to give someone a hard time for trying to make the world a better place.
I should be one of those people. I should be someone who finds a worthwhile career and throws themselves into it with everything they have. I feel like I have all the necessary requirements; an overwhelming desire for purpose, obsessive tendencies that cause me to work at things relentlessly, a willingness to give up things that I want for the sake of things that I find important. Plus, I don’t have any of the things that generally get in the way for other people; any social life to speak of, or a desire for a romantic relationship or a family.
The problem is that I can’t seem to find anything that feels right. I can’t find a career path that makes me think, “I want to spend my whole life doing this.” I’ve spent decades just looking for my purpose, and all I’ve managed to do is find about a hundred different things that I don’t want to do. It sounds kind of absurd to say that I want something to throw my whole life away for, but that’s what I want.
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